This is the part where we finally get it settled
Baby gurl, with the curls, nothing in the world
will make it better.
The love letters were heavenly
but I don't understand how my love
could turn you into my enemy.
The first time you put your hands in mine
remember the walk that we took in New York
and the subway rides.
You said our love was magnificent
You said "let me keep your shirt and your hat"
Because you liked the smell of them.
The Christmas gifts from Iraq
Became the source of my broken back
I gave you my heart and you threw it back.
You said that you were with friends
that's why you couldn't talk to me
But then your friends called me
and I found out that you lied to me
El Sol,
La Luna,
y Los Estrellas
This is what I gave to you
and you gave it away to other fellas.
The way we kissed was like spring time
the way we loved made a brother commit
to one day give you "Ring Time"
"Walking lonely and I'm finally done"
you weren't the one
"Now my new journey is to find the sun"
The fresh start is much brighter girl
I don't hate you...I can't
I am a lover not a fighter girl.
Let's take a chance at ammends
I got my closure
so let's hug, or shake hands and be friends
You can't got through life being mad
at the ones who hurt you
even though they hurt you bad
Is the lesson that I had to learn
I got my heart stomped
ripped to shreds and finally burned
And I still have more love to give
I can have another chance at love
But only one life to live........
You can do what you want when you read this
Because the day will come when you yourself will need this
After all this time, I just want to say
Thank you for making my heart stronger
and producing the man that people see today.
I'll keep smiling today and after the next
because nice guys don't finish last
They finish the best.
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5 comments:
Which of these love/unlove poems do you think does best what you want to do?
Prt 2 is the sequel to Prt 1. Prt 2 closes out that chapter of the unlove experience in Prt 1
But they're separate and (I think) vary in quality and I'm trying to see if you can guess what teacher wants you to guess...or to put it more professionally: to test your critical apparatus.
But, god knows, you don't have to answer. This material really isn't for class discussion.
I read the two pieces side by side and over again. I then read the pieces out loud. I also had someone else read them both out loud to me.
the Closure Prt 1 stands out to me because there was more image provoking through the writing. The piece seems to be written with smaller stories inside of a bigger story (like the small to large assignment).
There is passion and some "greeting card material" in both pieces, but I am still drawn to The Closure Prt 1.
Prt 1, to me, embodies more of the learned, technical aspects of this course and objectively is just better for the spirit and the story telling quality of the material.
Funny--or not so funny--but between the time I posted and now I forgot which one I thought was tops--good stuff in each. But I really like your analysis and your approach to analysis of rereading, reading aloud, having them read aloud to you.
Here're some of my favorite lines in each, in reverse order:
This is the part where we finally get it settled
Baby gurl, with the curls, nothing in the world
will make it better.
You said "let me keep your shirt and your hat"
Because you liked the smell of them.
El Sol,
La Luna,
y Los Estrellas
This is what I gave to you
and you gave it away to other fellas.
"Now my new journey is to find the sun"
You can do what you want when you read this
Because the day will come when you yourself will need this
It's about that time to write again
Return of the main attraction, Put the S back on the chest again
It's been a long hyatus
You know who you are
my highschool and shining star
after all this time I got to see who you really are
But what's in the past is dead
"Starlight starbright may the first star that I see tonight"
Keep shining in those earings I gave you that night. (Your smile is beautiful)
After eight years of marriage, 4 good and 4 years of torture
Damn
Our little girl is beautiful,
Not that the house wasn't clean
You just kept it dirty, while I kept being the man of your dreams
Between the bombs and the Islam
I just wanted to come home from war and find my home calm
It's all good cause my word is bond
You used to be wifey now your just my baby's mom.
This last verse is the one that hurts the worst
You told me to write you
you never wrote me back
You told me to call you
you never called me back
You couldn't pick up a pen or a phone
when you were just prone to living life on your back.
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